Today I’ll be posting on Judson Brewer’s “The Craving Mind.” This book has a bunch of good ideas regarding how to curb your social media use.
A lot of habit-breaking advice recommends mindfulness. This usually means, “If I am aware of what I am doing, I won’t indulge in bad habits.” But what if there’s more to the meaning of mindfulness than you think?
In “The Craving Mind.” Brewer clarifies the role or mindfulness in stopping our bad habits:
“Mindfulness is just about being interested in, and getting close and personal with, what is happening in our bodies and minds. It is really this willingness to turn toward our experience rather than to try to make our unpleasant cravings go away as quickly as possible.” – Brewer
Human beings are very bad at turning toward their experiences rather than trying to make their unpleasant cravings go away as quickly as possible.
In a study, participants were asked to stay in a quiet room by themselves for 20 minutes. They weren’t allowed access to any of their usual distracting devices – no smartphones, no tv, no radio. All they had was a tiny device that delivered an electrical shock when the participant pushed a button.
Here’s the surprising thing. The majority of the participants used the device to shock themselves and keep themselves entertained rather than face their own solitary thoughts. Let me repeat: they rather shock themselves than be forced to listen to their own thoughts!
If mindfulness is more than the awareness of your thoughts, it is the willingness to turn toward our experience rather than trying to make our unpleasant cravings go away as quickly as possible. How do we prepare ourselves for this willingness?
Everyone’s on social media. But not everyone posts. I believe the first step to turning toward our experience is to be mindful of what you get from posting to Social Media:
“We learn to go online or post something to our social media sites in order to get the reward that indicates we are relevant, we matter. Each time we are assured, we get reinforced, the loneliness is dissipated, and the connection feels good. We learn to come back for more.” – Brewer
Mindfulness works to curb your addictions by giving yourself enough time, energy, and space to examine just why you are taking part in them. The first step is calming your mind and sorting your thoughts.
“A human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind.” – Brewer
Brewer goes into more detail to describe the process of observing and being mindful to curb addictive behaviors.
“We taught people to pay attention to their habit loops so that they would become disenchanted with their previous behaviors by seeing clearly what rewards they were actually getting. Target craving and you can conquer an addition. And this targeting of craving was not through brute force but, counter-intuitively, through turning toward or getting close to it. Through direct observation, we can become as the term ‘asava’ is translated, less intoxicated.” – Brewer
So if you still feel bad about yourself for posting on social media, remember this quote,
“Ego, the self which he has believed himself to be, is nothing but a pattern of habits.” – Alan Watts
Change your habits, change your life. Did this post help to clarify the role of mindfulness is curbing your Social Media habit? Contact me, I’d love to hear about it.